Some Big Names have died

Peter O'Toole
Joan Fontaine
Ray Price

All great artists.

What can I say. These days I check the obits. These days I seem to buy more Sympathy Cards than Birthday Cards.

Today I took Wheelie for a drive. I wanted to pick up the mail at the 'old' place.

We drove by the 'old' place. No notices on the door, no lock boxes either. Guess the bank is taking it's time foreclosing on it.

The morning started with a frantic call from Bugs.  She was at work, all upset, because she was on the schedule to 'open and close' tomorrow, even though her boss knows she can't possibly work a shift like that. She is also without a car still. Has no babysitter for Bugs etc etc.

I have to back track for you how we got to this point.

Bankruptcy and all that.

For the past 6 years we have been Bugs' safety net. We bailed her out many many times. We paid for her car (the totalled one) we paid the late bills for utilities. And heavens knows we paid our share of baby food, diapers, toys. She always worked, but she received no child support, or any support from the other grandparents.

We were already pretty close to wrecking our credit because we were at all our credit card's limits.
We sold off most of our valuables over the last years. Our LP and CD collection, many other items. Just to keep ourselves afloat.
Now mind you, we never minded helping her out.
Until the shit hit the fan.

Earlier this year she was involved in a car accident. Some dude in a truck drove through a red light, turned right in front of her on a busy highway. She T boned him. Both cars totalled.
Skyla was upset because her happy meal went all over the place, but she was unharmed. At first we though Bugs was unharmed as well.

Until she finally got home. Home being a  new rental house she and a few friends just moved into.
Her hands were burned from the airbag explosion.
A friend took her to the ER. She had 3rd and 2nd degree burns on the top op her hands and wrists.
She needed skin grafts, pain med. Many burn doctor visits.

So no car, not being able to work, no money for rent.

We invited the girls to come and stay with us until things got better.
Well, that lasted a few months, until I got good and tired of it. Just too much stress. Boo in a new school here, Bugs dragging her butt getting things done. Their room looking like a tornado hit it.
And it started to cost us money. We were very frugal with what we ate. But with these two extra mouths to fill, PLUS the two kitties, who needed to be neutered and spayed, our reserves started to seriously dwindle.
We sold our last few Apple stock.

Then Bugs hooked up with a guy and they moved into their own apartment. Big mistake. The guy turned out to be a moron. So Bugs moved to a smaller apartment.
We bought her a bed, a washer an dryer. She was supposed to pay us back when she got her settlement.
In the meantime I played taxi cab, or shared the car when she needed it.

Come to find out the settlement seems to be in the wind. She has a lawyer, but evidently the insurance companies take their sweet time to pay out.
Bugs still dragging her butt going after it, and going after some kind of relief from the government, like food stamps.

One day I was about to pay my bills and I realized (I know,   stupid,  I was in denial )that there was no money left after I paid all the bills.

So I decided to look into what it would take to get out of this mess.
When I explained to the credit people (who were going to set up a pay system) that my husband was on Hospice and that when after he dies I won't be getting our pension anymore, she advised me strongly to contact an attorney.

Which I did.

The actual bankruptcy process was tedious but not too bad, as long as we did everything correctly and slowly.
Finding a new place to live was not bad either. We almost moved to Canton last year, when we tried to put our house on the market, and when Wheelie got pneumonia/bronchitis, and we decided to stay.

So here we are. Not having anymore debts, we are able to afford to live here for now. It's not cheap, but it covers an awful lot, plus a huge peace of mind.

As Wheelie just sits and lets everything roll over him, I took the brunt of all the physical and mental stress.

My salvation was a letter I received from my son. An amends letter. We hadn't spoken in years.  I never  gave up on him, but I cried for him every night.
And there he was, apologized, telling me he was sorry, that he wanted contact again, that he loved me. The phone calls followed. Hearing his voice again just lifted me. My little boy, a grown man now.

I don't think without that I could have made it through this year.

That and Prozac. Seriously!

And here we are, I feel better with the physical distance between Bugs and us. It easier to tell her to take care of her own problems, that I can't do stuff for her anymore. That I want to spend the time Wheelie and I have left just trying to resurrect our relationship. Provide a modicum of quality of life for him, and for myself as well.
We both deserve this respite. We worked hard all of our lives.

SGMKJ!