Do you think I will die from prostate cancer or 'the' disease?
At night after Wheelie takes his sleeping meds, he will start to talk.
Until he peters out and falls asleep.
All day long he doesn't say a word, answers my questions with "yup" and "nope"
At night he wants/tries to tell me all about the movie he just watched.
His speech is becoming so difficult I can't understand 70% of it. As long as I catch a few words I usually can figure out what he's talking about. Most of the time however, I just nod and say uhhmmm...hoping I am reacting the correct way.
Sometimes he remembers and tells about things from his childhood. These are the precious moments to me.
We have been here for 20 days now. We are settling in fine. Everything has been put away, the house looks cozy.
I feel good here.
I have NO clue how Wheelie feels here. He doesn't care. It's almost like he's afraid to complain. Afraid I'll become angry and put him in a nursing home.
Not gonna happen.
He certainly isn't the man I married. but then I am not the woman he married either.
I am sure he misses the young thin cute Dutch girl.
I know he loves me dearly, and I love him too, despite the long years of ups and downs, disappointments, happiness
At this point though, I miss the togetherness, the interaction, the doing stuff together.
He wishes to be left alone. Just let me be, he says, I am just fine!
But I am not fine sometimes, I want an arm around me, a kiss in my neck, a few endearments whispered in my ear. A compliment, A wish to go and DO something he would like to do.
No, everything is up to me, whatever it is, it's OK with him.
Well, at least we never fight. We just bite our tongues.
We laugh sometimes.
We're safe, warm, and I realize we're so much better off than a lot of folks.
Still...I wish it would be different.
Is that OK to ask?
SGMKJ!
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